Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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