I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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