Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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