I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
