In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize