you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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