I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
