Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
