so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
