I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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