I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
