is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
