I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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