maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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