He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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