The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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