I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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