the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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