was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
