I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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