I wish I could teleport
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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