Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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