just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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