I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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