sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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