I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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