just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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