It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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