weddingsv make me drug and hornr
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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