I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize