But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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