Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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