I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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