He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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