the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
