About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
