i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
