Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
