Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
