I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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