Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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