You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
