What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
