Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
