Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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