i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
