i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
