This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.