Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .