i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS