Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
