I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
