My pussy is not your playground.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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