Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
