At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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